The Good Christian (Part 1)


Why is it that people who are not saved, or who have some sort of knowledge of God but don’t live a so called “good” life think that they have to get themselves “right” before they go to church? I have witnessed to many people, talked about church with some, and invited others who all have this same thought in common, “I have to get myself together first!” Then there are some who say “I don’t have nothing to wear,” and some other excuses to get out of it like all who go to church are really real? Why?

Some people are so scared of the Preacher that they can’t even speak to him face to face. I use to feel this way about men period; especially my dad. I never had a conversation in the same room alone with him and other men I could’nt even speak to. Why? Because I had been abused all my life by men and I was scared to death of them. So as a girl growing up in church I could not go to the Pastor and talk to him, or feel comfortable around him enough to confide that something awful was taking place at home. Not only that– but what I was told about God was that if I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t following all the rules then I was going to hell. No wonder then that I fell to defeat and eventually tried to take my own life…there was no one to help me in my time of trouble so with nothing left in me to give me hope I gave up on everything; even God.

The “Good Christian,” way of life says that no one called by the name of Christ can make mistakes. In fact “the Good Christian” is one who works diligently and suffers well without blinking, but is this reality? If Jesus came to die for us then surely he knows our suffering and did suffer for us;even the whole world. So if I am not “good Christian” material then what am I in the eyes of those who think they are? What about me and the others who miss the mark…who cry out for God to save them but try as they might they just can’t get this thing right? Some say that these people who can’t are not saved, but is this correct?

Many people don’t want anything to do with God because of this…they have to compete, they don’t feel good enough, and some are looked down on because they can’t seem to get a handle on “that thing” which keeps them bound to it, and there some people at the church who have gone through the same thing and won’t open their mouths. Single parenthood did not just drop down from venus. People have been having sex unwed since time had a dial, yet mother Helen won’t tell she’s the matriarch of the church. People struggling with gay and lebianism and there are folk in the church who know they have been in threesomes both male and female and won’t open their mouth, scared about who will know. Well, does God know?

Ladies and Gentlemen this is Spiritual Abuse…unreasonable criteria placed on the saints of God that they can’t possibly live up to…

“At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children;  yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.   Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:25-30).

We must stop acting the Pharisee and start acting as agents of hope…giving and preaching hope to all who suffer…something to consider the next time we’re damaging people even more than they already are…time to change our thinking on this thing called Holiness.

Spiritual abuse is a real phenomenon that actually happens in the body of Christ. It is a subtle trap in which the ones who perpetrate spiritual abuse on others are just as trapped in their unhealthy beliefs and actions as those whom they knowingly or unknowingly abuse.” (Johnson & VanVonderen, (1991)

Stay tuned for more on this subject…

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About Kay Dailey

The Dailey Grind Kayla Dailey, is a prolific writer whose aspirations include hope of encouraging those who face trials and difficulties in life through the written word. As a student of the word she writes, Kayla has earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Journalism and Mass Communication from Ashford University and holds a Master of Arts Degree in Organizational Management with concentration in Public Administration. Mrs. Dailey is an advocate for civic and community building issues, African American liberties, equal employment; as well as, advocacy against domestic violence for women, children, abortion and other issues people face.

Posted on September 17, 2012, in Encouragement, Life, Ministry, Music, Religion and Spirituality, spiritual and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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