Dearest Selfish Self,

I won’t ask how you are, because I know that still you’re the cold, calculating and deceitful selfish self that you’ve always been. I’ve thought about you often, almost everyday you held my heart. From the moment that I rise in the mornings my thoughts have been of you. I remember how you smile at the pleasure that you get from pleasing only you. The laughter in your heart when you say those nasty and hurtful words that you knew would bring pain to others. I’ve noticed the envy and how jealous you become when others are being prosperous in their lives, knowing full well that you could have done those things too, but that you never tried. You probably didn’t think I noticed that did you? Well I did. And now my eyes have been opened to the cruel, harmful and selfish life that we’ve led together. Today it all ends! This letter is to inform you that we’re through!

At first it wasn’t clear, but I began to see outbursts of rage every time you didn’t get your way, and to see how you belittle others(that haven’t quite got things together the way you seem to feel that you have). I’ve seen the hatred and contempt (that you’ve kept hidden over the years) for those people who hurt you, the unforgiving behavior that has spread through your whole being like a wildfire. I see how you start quarrels, fights, and cuss people out, and I see also that its gotten out of hand. I can’t take it anymore, I’ve given you chance after chance to get it together. I know that you’ve tried in the past to make an effort, but then I found out later that you only had your own selfish ambitions in mind all along. What a waste of a relationship, and for so many years! I thought we would accomplish much together, but tragically it’s finished at a dead end!

The thought that I was in love with the likes of your selfish self–well–it’s–insane, and sick! I just have this one question: how can you live with yourself and be so happy? Or is it happiness living a life that makes others as miserable as you are? My advice to you is to stop pretending! I know you haven’t noticed that I’ve become distant. I’m not surprised, because someone as self seeking as you only sees what concerns self. I don’t want to live that way anymore. I have to confess that at one time I thought that you and I were a great team, but not anymore.

I have a confession to make I’ve found Someone new. His name is Jesus, and His Spirit is perfect for me. He has filled me with His love, and He’s given me so much joy that I sometimes can’t stand it all–He’s so good! I never knew that I could live my life with so much peace. He’s teaching me to use self control now, even when things sometimes don’t work the way I planned. I’m learning to be gentle and kind to those people who wronged me in my past and my present, and to be more forgiving today. I am faithful in my relationship with him and others. I belong totally and completely to Him now. He even speaks to His Father on my behalf–He’s Wonderful! I wish I could say that I’ll miss you, but that’s not so. One thing that Jesus has taught me is that if I cannot be honest, then I can’t live for God. So you see I have to leave you selfish self, it is the only way that I will remain free. You won’t change, but I can, and I have. I’ve got a long way to go, but I give up that old life of bitterness.

From the words of the apostle Paul I quote: “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected: but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus, has laid hold on me. I do not count myself to have apprehended but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize in Christ Jesus.”(Phil. 3: 12-14). Good bye Selfish Self!

I have no regrets,

The fruit has ripened!


About Kay Dailey

The Dailey Grind Kayla Dailey, is a prolific writer whose aspirations include hope of encouraging those who face trials and difficulties in life through the written word. As a student of the word she writes, Kayla has earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Journalism and Mass Communication from Ashford University and holds a Master of Arts Degree in Organizational Management with concentration in Public Administration. Mrs. Dailey is an advocate for civic and community building issues, African American liberties, equal employment; as well as, advocacy against domestic violence for women, children, abortion and other issues people face.

Posted on August 9, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: