Monthly Archives: June 2011


Counsel Me!
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband. But she who causes shame is rottenness to his bones. ~Proverbs 12:4

“Counsel Me,” says my husband. Words that I could take as words of unkindness, or sarcasm, but given my chosen career as a Counselor I’ve decided to take him seriously because I’m trying my best to be a good wife to him.

And so as I consider all the aspects of counseling, along with the many different people that I will counsel through the years. I see that my husband is a perfect starting point and that if I am to be successful to my ministry of being a good wife, this will include counseling him, but not in the way of making myself seem superior.

I strive to be excellent, perfect in all that I do. My studies cry out for that excellent grade, as does my mission and quest to be the best counselor that God can make of me. It is no mistake that this scripture popped out for me to see it, “an excellent wife is the crown of her husband.” So that I see a good wife or excellent wife adds the finishing touches to her man, his crown.

When I consider how much time it takes me to prepare myself before I present myself to the public, why would I want my husband going out to be any less prepared. I use the example of dress, but this will account for his mental, physical, spiritual and emotional state as well. If he is lacking in an area I am the one who is responsible for helping him reach a healthy level.

So today I decided that I will embark upon the task of honoring his request, “Counsel me! ” he says. I will.

Sometimes counseling begins with letting go of things that hurt, wrong doings can tear down and wear us down. I haven’t been a good wife in all aspects of our marriage. Haven’t honored my vows as well as I could, so today I started searching out an explanation of this scripture to help me better counsel my husband. It was then that I came across an article that caught my eye, “Signs of a verbally abusive husband.” As I began to read (not really thinking that I would find anything there), I see the word “criticism,” and my response, “Wow! It is there that the Lord spoke to me that I cannot begin to counsel him until he realizes that he is doing this to you. I want to tell you that I thought that this type of behavior was part of arguments, but as I think about it now, I see that it happens sometimes in just general conversation and ends with something like, “I was just playing” or “I didn’t mean it!” But I know in my heart that he means it! Inside the sting of his words have hurt me constantly!

I’ve been overlooking it and asking God to change him, but today God has given me the strength to present this piece of information to him and demand that it stop. We cannot move forward until he knows that his behavior is not what God wants.

You see a crown is an adornment, beautiful to behold. Would anyone want to wear a crown that is tarnished, and dull in appearance? That is what abuse does to us in any area. If the wife is suffering in an area that is the same as a gem missing, she has lost her luster to shine and is now damaged.

But she who causes shame is rottenness to his bones…
Being that God made the woman from the rib of the man this makes sense….look at this:

“So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.” (Genesis 2:21).

So we can see that when a man talks down to the woman, beats her, or doesn’t lift her up; instead she is torn down, disabled literally in her spirit. Her walk and the steps she takes should have luster and shine to reflect on her man…but instead she is an embarrassment…why? He hasn’t taken care of the bone of his bones so that in reality he has let himself down. WOW!!!

I wanted to share this with all of you male and female, married or not because this type of abuse according to the article is the first of many encounters, the last one ending in injury to someone. Being that we have been discussing domestic violence and bringing about awareness of this particular issue, I thought this word needs to get out as soon as possible.

So I started first by presenting the word to my husband and as I prayed for his spiritual ears to hear, I prayed that I presented the word with sound speech and without accusation. God was with me, and he heard me. We will continue the process with God helping us to wholeness.

Today: Let your light shine so that all men may know the truth of God’s word.

Let us pray: Father in the name of Jesus. We pray for every relationship married and unmarried. We pray God that you give a hedge of protection. We asked for wisdom of your word and God you have proved faithful once again. We ask that our ears be open to whatever is good and that we receive it with grace and humility. Take away all pride that will hinder our hearing and/or that will lead us to disobedience. If anyone is guilty of hurtful acts towards their mates then we ask that you increase in us as we start the task of presenting evidence of deeds done, so that they will hear your voice. Help us to let go of grudges that may bring about more pain. Give them the strength they need to make it work. We thank you God for revelation, now allow healing in all areas hidden from view. Show us how to live our life with love for you in all things, and we thank you God for we know that you hear us even now. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.



When I was a young girl Christmas was always a magical time. The colorful tree with it’s ornaments and bright lights was always a source of awe and excitement! We had some great Christmas holidays, and Mama would be sure to ask us what we wanted to receive. When we were older we had the opportunity to write our lists so that Santa could bring us our hearts desires, one Christmas I asked Santa for China dishes.

As I picked up the last of my gifts, I noticed that it was heavy, more weightier than all the others. I unwrapped it with the anticipation that I would receive what I expected there. Holding my breath I tore the layers frantically, and then I saw them, in all their pink and white essence; the most magnificent china dishes that I had ever saw and they belonged to me. I was so happy!

There was a price that came with my new china dishes, a warning attached to them, issued to me by my mother as she said, “Don’t break them!

My response was, “I’m not!”

And I didn’t! I played with those dishes day in and day out, drinking tea with my dolls. I always played alone with them for fear if I allowed others to play they would get broken.
I always remember mama’s words to me, “don’t break them!”

My answer, “I’m not!”

One day after playing with them I decided that I would go outside to play with my friends, so I boxed them up(I still had the original box), and placed them on my dresser to play with when I got back. When I returned seeing my dishes were still where I left them I was distracted by something in the hallway, it was my brothers playing and running in the house. All of a sudden and before I could stop them they crashed into my dresser and all my beautiful China dishes fell to the floor.

My brother said that he was sorry and I think that all in the house were in shock, because they knew that I had taken such good care of them; they saw my broken heart! I cried from the shear pain of seeing them there, and also from the echo of my mother’s words once again, “don’t break them!”

“You broke them!” I cried.

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6).

Although I cried for days and was saddened by the demise of my precious China dishes, I survived. There have been other events in my life that have caused equally as much pain. We have to remember that we feel pain equal to the level we’re on. So for a small child even though the source of pain was her beloved dishes, her pain was still great for her.

Many of us as women have suffered such loss with no ill effects, and were able to move on and pick ourselves up with ease. But what about that relationship that didn’t work out, or that divorce that we didn’t know was coming. We’ve placed our lives in the hands of another who left our feelings and our lives on the edge much like those China dishes, we were vulnerable to tragedy. Sometimes we can trust others so much thinking that it will be ok to let our guard down with them only to be betrayed. This is what God wants us to see, that he is that constant source, that he is faithful and that he will never let us down if we will trust him with our lives.

We’ve been left with hearts broken into pieces and maybe you’re feeling that there is no way to make it this time. I want to tell you that if you trust God to fix this thing he can. So many times if one relationship doesn’t work out, we try to find solace in another.

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6).

We as women(some) have been abused and trampled, raped, beaten, and have allowed ourselves to be treated shabbily by someone who was supposed to love us. For those of us who have relationships with God we have trusted him with our lives. Still others have turned a way from God and found ourselves in even worse danger, God wants you to know that he loves you dearly, beloved.

I wanted to share my memory with you, because every time I played with my dishes after that( the ones that were left) I noticed chips and cracks; there were damages(some) beyond repair. I encourage you as you trust and continue to walk with God to not allow your lives to become as those “China dishes,” broken (ever again!). God is great and his greatness deserves praise!

God bless you every day of your life…

Seek Wisdom

There comes a time when we must leave elementary teachings that make us feel good and seek after the pure, unadulterated, meat of the word of God.


“Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing. For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”


(Hebrews 5:11-14)


Is it ok to acknowledge the word “Sin,” and not put in detail what any sin may be composed of? I mean someone ought want to know what the fullness of sin really is. Is it ok to say fornication is only sex but never go into full detail about and therefore choose to be ignorant. Some would have me to say that sex(unmarried) is sin but when I go into detail and talk about all the types and ways that we can fornicate then there is a problem because now I have stepped on some toes…we may or may not be having sex unmarried but now all else we doing is uncovered because I don’t want to give up some stuff that you’ve mentioned…amen.


I want to know all of it and when I find it out isn’t it wise to present what I’ve learned to help someone else who really doesn’t know….but some would have you think that I have accused them flat out. No it is not I who accuse it is the Holy Spirit doing His work; if in fact you are of the Holy spirit. amen.


Someone told me yesterday that people don’t want to know, don’t want to dig deep because then their sin will be exposed. And also someone gave me an excuse as to why they do it…I don’t need the excuses, because I wasn’t accusing…I don’t live with anyone except my family and I will have to give them the meat or milk of the word also. Some of them are mad too because they(like those here) don’t want to hear the truth. Neither did I when I was doing my dirt. Yes, dirt! Anything we have to hide and do is not clean living…amen.


My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:


So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck.


Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble.


(Proverbs 3: 21-23)


I encourage you today to seek out, ask, inquire of God as to all that he has for you to be full of excellence and grace. Seek the word of life that will save you and even those connected to you…seek peace, and pursue it in all things.


Be blessed in your efforts to win….

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