I was ministering to a woman while shopping for my daughter’s dress last week. She was feeling down, she said, because she thought that her fiancée’ was cheating on her; some of us have been there, right? Well anyway she went on to say that she had been married before, and from what she told me there were 10 bridesmaids and all the fixings that made for a great wedding celebration….married in a church before God and man. But she went on to say that they were no longer married…she said that he had cheated on her and(like so many) didn’t want a cheating man. Her husband was a cheater and now the one she is engaged to is cheating as well…somethings wrong, I thought.

I want to tell you that I had to ask her was she walking with God, I said, “Are you saved?” I asked.

She said,” Yes, I go to church sometimes, but I ain’t no Christian or nothing!” She wasn’t saved because we aren’t saved because we go to church–not by works…(Ephesians 2:9)

Well Ladies and Gentlemen there is a red flag here, because we need to first have an understanding of who we are and whether we are saved or not before making life decisions. The world won’t tell us that but another Christian in their walk will.

Another thing is that if we don’t know who we are how will anyone else? We need to have our identity in Christ! Meaning if we have no idea of what salvation means for us then how can we lead someone else to it; this should be our goal, not to marry and then expect they will change or try to make them change. Many of us have ended up marrying without the Holy Spirit (unsaved) and even if we were saved we didn’t know the word and therefore ended up with people who hurt us deeply or either we ended up walking out before the Lord could help; some of us just left without praying, or seeking counsel of any kind.

This is not at all God’s plan for the marriage, he wants us to be happy; but he never said that we would be happy all the time. It isn’t wisdom that thinks any human can keep us happy if we aren’t trying to be happy ourselves. What does this mean? Walking in the Spirit in your marriage, because if this is our ministry above all ministries we involve ourselves with.

If we are dealing with difficult people what does the word say about it…

Concerning Divorce:

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. (Malachi 2:16).

So that when we see this is what God hates, should our first choice be going to divorce instead of seeking God’s counsel, his word on the situation? It is appalling the excuses that people give as to why they don’t want to be married anymore….marriages of years being ended because of someone’s selfishness. WOW! But I tell you just because the law makes this easy and it is within your rights….it is wrong in God’s eyes.

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9).

Even now in my marriage there have been times when I have blurted out to my husband that I want a divorce…maybe I thought that he had wronged me in some way, but being a woman of God and if I want to be obedient then of course I haven’t divorced him…why? Because I want to be blessed and stay in the will of God. If my husband says, “We can work it out,” surely we can.

I heard someone say once,”Remove the Quit Button,” and that won’t be an option. Hear this word Ladies and Gentlemen and think today:

What am I willing to pray for in my marriage? I want to live holy…what does the word say for me and my husband to do in our ministry to each other?

I pray this helps someone…it’s helping me greatly!!! Amen.

Take comfort in this.


About Kay Dailey

The Dailey Grind Kayla Dailey, is a prolific writer whose aspirations include hope of encouraging those who face trials and difficulties in life through the written word. As a student of the word she writes, Kayla has earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Journalism and Mass Communication from Ashford University and holds a Master of Arts Degree in Organizational Management with concentration in Public Administration. Mrs. Dailey is an advocate for civic and community building issues, African American liberties, equal employment; as well as, advocacy against domestic violence for women, children, abortion and other issues people face.

Posted on May 25, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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